


Raid on the Tower

by AveryUnit



Series: Skulldudes: Cut Footage [1]
Category: Skulldudes, Skullgirls
Genre: Cannibalism, Gen, Maybe - Freeform, eventually, first of many to come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 08:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AveryUnit/pseuds/AveryUnit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I was promised leg-breakers, snipers, muscly brawn-for-brains and gangsters. N’ what do i get? Some scared lil’ wimps who can’t even aim a gun properly. Where’s the <em>real</em> challenge?”</p><p>-----------------------</p><p>Peacock and Co. decide to attack the Medici Tower and Avery faces off against one of the mob’s best leg-breakers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raid on the Tower

The Medici Tower was a really over-priced place.

They probably spent billions, if not trillions of bones constructing it, and who knows how many years it took to built it? As far as Avery knew, this was one of the tallest buildings in Canopy. He loved tall places. It made him feel superior and dominant, like he was on top of the world. It explained why Lorenzo and his servants were so full of themselves.

He felt like a bird.

Which he already was, but, y’know.

He should be thankful for the boring-ass day that the ASG-Labs were having, because Avery's boss got so fed up with the silence that she decided she wanted to blow something big up. Apparently, she was cooped up for too long because when the gang asked what they were going to wreck, Peacock responded with; _"The Medici HQ."_

Now, of course they were all at least the tiniest bit sketchy. That was the main base of the big bad of the Canopy Kingdom, and they were going head-first into it. Everyone argued with her and when it seemed like the cyborg gave up, she made their car pop out of the ground, throwing all of them on the ride and started driving to the belly of the beast. The boss reassured them that they will only blow up a little of it since they were bitching so much about it. Even through the traffic, the sighs of relief could easily be heard, until the realization that _the boss was driving the car._

After a brief panic (and Andy becoming the designated driver with Peacock taking a seat in the back), they decided to plan their attack. The boss, of course, insisted on hitting Lorenzo right in his old man face, to give him a little taste of what’ll be coming to him. But Argus was quick to interfere. She suggested on Peacock attacking from the front with George and Lenny while Andy and Tommy take the sides and Argus would provide back-up. If things got sticky, she promised to help.

When Avery squawked out a 'Hey, what about me!?', the tall lady proposed that he hits from the back. Before he could protest to be on the front so he can kick ass side-by-side with his host, Argus added that Avery has great potential at sneak attacks and that this would improve his skills. "Besides, you'd like to have a few defeats for you and yourself only, wouldn't you?" The bord, defeated but also piqued, agreed.

And so here he was, looking out a window in the hallways of the Medici Tower, hands on his small hips and a chest puffed up in pride, admiring the grand view.

"Maybe comin' here wasn't such a bad idea."

He’ll have to convince his boss not to blow up the place. The Medici’s are total assholes, yeah, but the bord wanted to keep this place. But how would he persuade Peacock into not destroying the head quarters of possibly the biggest scum on earth?

…A trophy, Avery thought. He could say they should keep the place as a trophy, in order to look upon fondly at the red carpet that was turned redder with the blood of the old man decorating it. To remember the moment when his brains would sprawl all over the walls he constantly wanted to be kept as shiny as his bald head.

The thought of it made the parasite giddy. He started skipping instead of walking through the red-stained halls, his personal work. He retrieved a knife from one of the suited men laying limp against a yellow pillar. It was pierced through the side of his neck. Avery waved it around a bit to shake off the blood before retrieving it into his hat. Yeesh, these guys were so easy to kill. It’s not fun in the least when they don’t even turn around to see their impending doom swooping at them with blades aiming right for their throats.

"I was promised leg-breakers, snipers, muscly brawn-for-brains and gangsters. N’ what do i get? Some scared lil’ wimps who can’t even aim a gun properly. Where’s the _real_ challenge?”

The boy whined while kicking away a dismembered arm that was in his way. He stepped up to the wide elevator, calling it. He then took out his revolver, spinning the chamber. He hid behind the wall, expecting bad guys to pop out in an ambush. However, when his ride arrived with a soft 'beep', no one came out.

Avery poked his head into the elevator, and whistled (tweeted?) at just _how much space was in there_. You could hold a party in here and nothing would go wrong! Probably.

Anyway, the parasite walked into the elevator, tucking his gun back into his top hat. He was about to press the button that would transport him to the third floor, but he hesitated, his eyes drifting to the seldom-used button to the top of the tower. He considered his choices.

Yes, yes, he knew, the gang agreed that they wouldn’t attack Lorenzo for now. But Avery wanted to impress his dear boss, so he decided to give the douchebag a little scare. Well. As long as he’s there, anyway. Explosions and gunshots could be heard all around, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if he was being evacuated, or was already.

Would the others be pissed with him for not following the one rule they made today? Probably. Would they pout for the rest of the day about not being invited in on the fun? Definitely. But he was known to always go all in while playing cards with the guys, so you better damn bet he was going to take his chances here, too.

With a shrug, Avery jumped up and pressed the button that lead to the ringleader. He skipped over hapilly to the middle of the room, pulling a cigar and a lighter seemingly out of nowhere and started to light the tip of it.

However, before the drug that was approaching the little bird's lips could even be lit, he heard a screeching noise from the elevator door, causing him to jump and retrieve the objects. When the boy turned around, he saw two huge hands between the supposedly closing elevator doors. They were being pushed open with strong force and what Avery then saw both scared and excited him.

He thought "Finally, a challenge!" and then "Oh, that's a leg-breaker, alright."

A big, muscly, intimidating figure (barely) squeezed through the door, leaving them to close again. Avery took a few nervous steps back while inspecting the mafioso (at least he thought it was one).

The intruder was extremely tall, from here, it looked like little Avery would barely reached their elbow. They seemed like a tough cookie with their muscles and bulkiness. The hulk's hair was a light torquise and tied into a short braid. He also noted the menacing skull mask with... horns? Huh.

They wore a black and yellow vest that barely covered anything on their chest--don’t get distracted, Aves--and poofy, orange pants with black boots. They had black diamond tatoos up and down their arms and their enormous hands brandished rust brass knuckles.

All in all, they ~~were a total beefcake~~ seemed like a worthy opponent. As the elevator _finally_ began to move, Avery smirked and bowed, tipping his hat.

"Lovely evenin' for a reckonin', ain't it?"

The muscle-man responded by banging his brass knuckles together, which made sparks fly, and began running towards the bord with a clenched fist.

**Ladies(?) and Gentlemen, it's...  
SHOWTIME!**

Avery was quick to make a portal underneath him in order to get behind the now-stumbling half-gigan and stomp the ground as hard as he could while taking something out from his back. A wooden board came and bent out of the ground, making the boy's opponent's spine fall right into a spiked bat, thrusted by yours truly.

The man let out a groan of pain but then used the hurting bat as a hold as he jumped to fall backwards and land behind the parasite, who barely dodged the impending fists of fury that crashed into the ground, making tiles fly everywhere.

Avery once again took out his huge revolver and started shooting bizarre things suck as cannon and bowling balls, not actual bullets, but the titan dodged and even knocked some of them out of his way as he was once again advancing towards the little scamp, and even though he tried to escape using his rocket boots, he was caught.

The big hand of the masked person was enough to crush every metallic bone in the little peacock's body if it was so desired, but instead, he was smashed into the already damaged ground, got plucked like a vegetable from it and (Though Avery wasn't sure do to the very likely brain damage) got spun around in a single circle and then thrown full-force into the wall.

Even if his body was going to slump down to the ground, the wall wasn't attached to the elevator and made the boy's body touch the ground before he could even realize the pain he was in. A minute into the fight and his body was already hurting. Was he losing his touch? No, he thought. This was the challenge he wanted and he got it.

The frown that was present on Avery's face turned into a toothed and slightly bloody smile as he looked up at the towering gigantor and even if for a brief moment, he saw him frown almost as in apology, but Avery brushed it off and straightened himself, spitting red-colored saliva on the ground. Avery knocked on his hat, which burped out a black shotgun. The bord catched and clicked it, looking smugly at his opponent.

The sasquatch cracked his knuckles and again launched himself at Avery. This time, Avery started running as well, and this time, he dodged the grabby hands of the beast as he jumped, bouncing off their head and launched a shot into their already grazed back from the moment this whole battle began. Like the revolver, it wasn't an actual bullet, but whatever it was, it left a nasty burning mark on there. Avery landed behind the limping and groaning lumber jack.

‘Aight, did some damage on the back,' Avery thought. 'Now to focus on the front. The question is, how to do it? This big foot's a tank. Hmm.'

And then it snapped. Of course.

Avery retrieved the shotgun into his top hat and innocently hid his arms behind him. The musclebuilder, turning his attention away from his wound and back to his foe, took a running start with his arm in front of him, presumably to either grab or ram the bird into the wall. However, the action was cut short when his target brandished about three pairs of knives and threw them at him.

As the panicked man tried to slow down and dodge, The sharp edges of the knives barely missed him, leaving cuts on his right arm, left hip, right cheek and neck. However, the fifth and sixth knifes pierced through the gigants left arm, and then through his right leg, making a considerable amount of blood pour out, especially after the blades were pulled out.

While his attention was set on the weapons piercing his skin, Avery sprinted towards him and jumped, throwing something at his foe’s face. “Here, have some coconut! ” He shouted with glee.

Said foe suspected it to be some sort of granade or bomb, but his worries were turned to shame when it (literally) hit him that it was a sticky, coconut flavored pie. “With whipped cream!” The child added. Oh, that explained it. This kid was quite literal. Better keep that in mind. But he wondered, what was the point of this? Did he think this is a game? He's met some like him before, all happy and eccentric about fighting. He's experienced enough, however, to know that these kinds of people, hard as they may be to be taken seriously, can still be very dangerous.

Before he could continue that thought, he felt little boots settle themselves on his back and then something closing around his neck. And then he couldn’t breathe. Was that little brat strangling him with a rope?! Oh, so that was the reason for the pie. To blind him. But did he think his hands couldn’t reach him?

He tried to grab him, but the small scamp quickly jumped off of his back while still holding the rope. He was incredibly light, but the tug, accompanied by the giant’s momentary blindness and pain in his body, caused him to fall over, crushing the little bird under his weight. Said bird found out that hanging in mid-air makes you pretty vulnerable, as he couldn’t escape the crushing weight of the giant man.

This was getting annoying. For the both of them.

As the dazed opponent of Avery’s tried taking out all the sticky cream stuck to his mask, the right-hand man of Peacock struggled, trying to escape. How was he supposed to get out of this situation!? Big, heavy things or people were his only weakness, excluding all that other stuff he was even weaker to! He never had to deal with this kind of--

Wait.

He remembered something. He _has_ been in this insufferable situation before.

Yeah, this reminded him of all the times Andy tried out the new wrestling moves he saw on TV on him, which often resulted with the bord either laying helpless under the anvil, having to inhale whatever disgusting deodorant or perfume he had on, or being stuck in a chokehold until the bratboy got bored. It made him feel like a child and he absolutely hated it, considering the fact he was technically older than him. Older than the _whole gang_. (Excluding Argus and Peacock, of course. The boss was human and the tall bird was made way before she even joined Lab 8.) He then decided to do what he always did to get out of the unbearable situation.

He bit the sonuva bitch as hard as he could.

His teeth were solid steel and though he often neglected cleaning them, they were damn sharp. Keeping things sharp and sure to cut clean through the toughest stuff was his specialty, after all. They should be enough to make even this tall bastard flinch, considering all the gnawing he did on the sorry dicks that tried to touch him or the boss in the past. And Andy. Especially Andy. But Anvil has a facade as fragile as his pompadour, and a screech as high as a fangirl’s on a concert, so he doesn’t exactly count.

Either way, it seemed to work on the guy. While he was still busy wiping off the filling of the pie he got a taste of earlier, Avery bit deep into his neck, the part where one of the knives he threw earlier managed to cut, and held on as hard and long as he could. The sasquatch began to stand up while trying to shake that imp off. Was he part vulture or something?! He was holding on tight like a leech, so he decided to reach for him again. He didn’t get away or jump off this time, and he grabbed him, pulling on him with great strength.

He significantly regretted the choice afterwards, as when he finally ripped off the teeth of off his neck and threw its owner onto the white-tiled ground, so did a good part of his skin. He let out a strangled noise. The medici goon could bet at that moment that if he could speak, it’d hurt to do even that right now. He looked at the intruder and noticed the part that once belonged to him was still hanging off his mouth.

…He was chewing on it.

He just gulped it down.

He couldn’t help but feel sick at that. He put his left hand to his mouth and raised a pointer finger with his other, signaling a time out. Avery was dumbfounded at that. “Really? A seven-feet wrestler giant and he gets sick because of a lil’ blood?” Said wrestler balled his right hand into a fist and shook it. The bord groaned, almost whined. “Oh, _fiiiiiiine_ , ya big baby. Just don’t take long. We’re gettin’ close to the top and i’d like to have your ass kicked and flying out the buildin’ before we get there.” He was awarded with quick nods every time the buzzard said anything, though he suspected that the weakling was just listening with one ear and out the other. Why does no one ever listen to him? He’s interesting, right? ...Right?

The bouncer-like man quickly strutted to a corner of the elevator, emptying whatever he had for lunch that day. He tried his best not to look at it and judging from the “Yuck!” he heard from behind him, the boy was doing the same. After he wiped his mouth and turned around, he saw the midget with a hand on his hip, annoyingly tapping his foot while looking at a brown watch on his wrist. Was that thing there before? Either way, he walked back and his opponent looked up from his watch and at him. He noticed that there was still some blood around his mouth.

He gestured at the bird and then around his own mouth. “Huh? Oh, right.” Avery then tried to wipe off the blood around his mouth. When he looked up and asked “Did i get it?”, the older one made a face, along with a ‘meh’ gesture with his hands. He could still see the smears. He was suprised when the child licked off most of the remaining spots and he put a hand to his mouth again.”Oh, don’t go throwin’ up again. Ya got it all out, yeah?” he pointed out rather than ask. The response he got was a hesitant nod. “Good.” Avery brandished a toothed grin, along with a pair of knives. His foe banged his brass knuckles together like he did at the very beginning of this brawl.

**ROUND 2  
ACTION!**

They ran at each other, brass and steel clashing together. Avery gave up the long-range combat for a minute and saw what he could do up close and personal. He did his best to avoid any hits that the towering man was sending his way, though he didn’t have much luck hitting him either. The bigger they are, the easier they fall, true, but you’d have to get through their defense first. And this one was fast for a big guy. Going for his legs wasn’t the best idea either due to the blades hidden in his boots. He’ll have to remember that for later.

Actually, this big, bulky mafioso looked familiar… But he decided to not pay it any mind. At least for now.

The ‘sailor‘ manages to dodge most of his attacks by making the knives deflect off the brass and he can easily get hit if he tries to hit anywhere else--

Actually wait. He can teleport. Duh.

Right when a fist was about to swing into Avery’s side, the bird hopped, made a black hole appear below his feet and descended into it, holding onto his hat.

The giant man was taken aback for a second, wondering where the heck that little scamp went. He glanced to the left, then to the right and when he decided to look behind him, he heard a familiar voice shouting out “Marco!“ before being hit square in the face by what appeared to be a huge boxing glove.

He staggered and rubbed his nose behind his mask and as soon as he clenched his fist, he was hit once again, but this time in the back of his neck, which was not the place where he had the gash, but it still damn felt like he hit there. “Polo!“ The boy once again yelled.

Kid was really getting a kick out of this, wasn’t he?

The man decided to follow the little 'whoop' sounds the boy made when he teleported in order to hopefully _give_ him the kick he wanted so much from this battle.

He saw a black hole opening in the corner of his eye and rammed his fist right when he saw the hint of a teal hat coming out of it. The owner of said head wear cried something that sounded like a “Mar--!“ before being smashed into the ground once again.

The parasite was picked off the ground, having his entire body and arms in trapped in the brute’s ginormous hand. Avery stared in surprise and worry at the masked man before nervously smiling and giggling “P-Polo...?“

His eye twitched behind the mask. That’s it, he’s had enough. Today was going to be a normal day, they were going to visit Vitale for a quick report and get out of here. but instead, There was a raid on the tower, Bella stayed behind to help Feng, and he’s stuck in probably the most infuriating elevator ride he’s ever been in.

He flipped his opponent’s body upside-down, grabbed him by the (incredibly scrawny) leg and smashed him into the ground on his right, and then back to the place he stopped the boy from initiating a game of Whack-a-mole (Or ‘bird’ in this case). The cycle continued for a few seconds before the peacock was thrown into the air and the bodyguard-like man proceeded to stand on his hands.

The bruised and hurting everywhere bird opened his eyes, looked down and realized that the asshat was balancing a sword on their foot. Oh, right. That was a thing. Stupid brain, not remembering what he told himself to remember!

However, now wasn't the time to be throwing a tantrum, especially since it looked like Avery was going to get impaled on that thing. For a person who gets sick over some blood, he had some _guts_.

Ok, now wasn’t the best time to make puns either. It was the time to flail about in the air effortlessly like the cartoon the bord was. A little before he was going to meet his probable end, however (or at the very least an appointment with doc Whitefin), Avery activated his rocket boots and avoided being stabbed through the chest. Unfortunately, his tailfeathers weren't so lucky. The blade caught the birds middle part of his tail, going clean through the eye in it as well. The boy let out a pained screech that hurt the performers ears and started getting back up on his feet. The knife, however, toppled to the ground along with Avery, cutting the feather in half completly.

Ugh, well wasn’t this just _fancy_. The child got up from his knees to stand, swaying back and forth a little. He was really dizzy, but he still tried his darnest to think about what to do next. The adult across the other side of the elevator was squeezing his left arm and it looked like he was favoring his right leg, seemingly once again aware of the stab wounds they have suffered. He was craning his head to the side of his neck wound, too. Avery decided to use the distraction. From behind his back he retrieved his revolver and fired it three times, sending a couple of bowling balls the big clown’s way. He then quickly got rid of the gun and took off his hat, holding it by the rim. He hit it with his knee and the lid on it opened.

Let’s see how that palooka plans to dodge a giant cow heading his is that a bowling ball?

The boy didn’t really have time to consider that fact, as he found himself getting a bloody nose from the projectile he _literally just fired **WHY THE HELL DID IT HIT HIM?**_ He hunched over and buried his face into his hands, moaning nasty, muffled accusations into them.

The man on the other side of the room, meanwhile, after musing the fact that Diamond Reflector was actually useful for once, noticed that they have finally reached the top floor. The door opened and oh hey, look. At the end of the long hall, there was a huge window. Perfect for throwing pests like _that_ one out of.

The giant man turned his attention back to the little boy, who was glaring back. Both of them composed themselves started walking to their left, Avery taking out his knives once again, sclera strangely grey. The orange-clad one stopped walking when his feet touched the white carpet spread out across the hall and mockingly gestured his hand for the bird to come and get him. The contestant across the elevator happily oblidged.

As the trickster jumped forward, aiming for the performers neck, he was grabbed _again_ , spun in a circle _again_ , and thrown into a fancy chair behind the desk on the other side of the hall, hitting his neck on it’s top rail in the process. He rubbed the recent injury, groaning, and looked up at the reason of his tremendous pain.

His growl turned into a whine as he looked on to the gigan-like man burrowing his hands in the ground, digging up something _huge_. Avery quickly scurried to his feet in a panic and accidentally bumped his foot on the chair’s leg, but he paid it almost no mind as he realized that that 'something' turned out to be a huge boulder.

Avery saw his short life flash before his eyes as the masked man punched the rock, reducing it into a shining diamond.

And as his memories replayed his thoughts, he remembered his previous enlightment.

Wait.

He can teleport.

Duh.

As Avery hid in the black hole below his feet, leaving his hat to hover in the air, he heard something being demolished and glass shattering, presumably the gem crashing through the desk, possibly the fancy chair too--Trinity rest it’s cushy pillow--and finally the window.

After leaving the dark space, the bird found himself weak in the knees and toppled to the floor, looking around in a panic and panting. On his right, his teal top hat was laying on the floor, it’s lid torn open. He grabbed it with trembling fingers. Why was he trembling? That was weird. Looking behind him, sure enough, the desk and window were in pieces and the throne-like chair was toppled over.

Avery turned his attention to the elevator entrance. He saw the man in the middle of the room kneeling, his chest slowly falling up and down. So he was exhausted as well. Of course they could've just stop the fight right there, Avery figured. Lorenzo was nowhere to be found and the tower was unnaturally quiet. But he had come this far, it'd be lame to just stop the battle here.

‘Okay,’ He thought. ‘It's time to finish this.’

The parasite stood up, putting his damaged hat back on his head. “Hey, ya pill! Look at me when i’m ‘bout ta knock ya into next week!“

Upon hearing the challenge, the towering man stood up as well, moving his head from one side to another, making his neck emit the sound of bones cracking and then hunched over. If his still-bleeding wound on his neck hurt from that, he was either too focused on the bird to pay any attention to it (Aw, he shouldn't have) or the mask was doing it's job right by hiding his cringing face. Avery grinned and took a running start along with his opponent, as if in sync.

As the giant sprinted, the long and thin horns on his head started to bend, growing larger and thicker (That sounds like an innuendo), resembling those of a ram. A huge, buff, angry, seven feet tall ram. Before they could be rammed into him, however (Again, with the innuendo, yeesh), Avery slid between the unlucky chaps legs. He quickly retrieved a cane from who-knows-where and used it to trip his opponent. Next, he pulled out a huge bag and swiftly stuffed his foe in it. Avery kicked and stomped on the place he assumed the man’s head was and gave it one last punt before making him slide helplessly towards the destroyed desk.

Vice rubbed his hurting neck and sat up to look menacingly at the child. Right in the eyes.

All five of them.

All...

...Thirty...

...Of them...

Dozens of red eyes attached to metal poles were coming out of the boy’s back. Said boys’ eyes were now visibly just black holes with red irises as he as he smiled. The parasite crossed his arms over himself and then spoke in a sort of strained voice;

**“Agony...”**

The torn lid of his hat revealed something resembling a peacock's head. If one were to look close enough, they'd notice a small ant with a cute top hat operating two even smaller levers, making the metal peacock’s mouth to emanate a rose-colored light.

...Which turned out to be a scorching hot laser, aiming right into the chest of the living weapon, making him stagger into the debris of the wooden table.

As the eyes behind him began to glow, Avery threw his hands to his sides and shouted in a no longer hesitating, but extremely eager and happy voice;

**“...OF ARGUS!!“**

The lasers which were promptly launched in the giant’s direction gave a lot more knockback than he thought they would.

And the moment he felt glass pierce into his beat-up back, he knew he lost.

He flew out of the window, leaving only the winner in the room.

The matal rods retrieved into Avery’s back with a few ‘clickety-clack‘ sounds. After straightening himself out he pulled out a cigar, which he was just about to use before this brawl, lit it and took a long, deserved drag.

“What? No ‘catch ya later’?” He laughed in the direction of the window, as if the man could still hear him, making the smoke in his mouth go in whatever direction the now-leaking fresh air was taking it. “Well... suppose I shouldn’t say that, since there’s no one to catch _you_.” He added slyly, proud of himself in the middle of a completly empty room.

A voice in his head stated ‘Alright, alright, show’s over‘, to which the bird sighed and agreed. Before he could do anything else, however, he heard various footsteps from somewhere close. He looked behind him and on his left was a fire exit right by the entrance of the elevator which was kicked open right as he acknowledged it.

About ten people in suits and trillbys busted into the hall, pointing guns of various brands and sizes at Avery. “Don’t move and we’ll make it quick!“ A woman in sunglasses exclaimed. The boy responded with something between a sigh and a groan to the group. “Listen toots, as much as i’d love ta stick around, it’s been a long day. How ‘bout i just leave my goodbye present n’ we call it a night?“

Suddenly, the eyes on his two remaining feathers started beeping and flashing. That was usually Argus’ way to let him know that playtime is over. “Welp, that’s my cue. See you next time!“ Avery tipped his hat and bowed as he started walking backwards. “Oh no, you don’t!“ A man with his own cigar in his mouth yelled as he fired his AK-47. The bord quickly jumped out of the way.

**"Falldown..."**

When he landed, he stomped on the ground, making a huge black hole appear inbetween the two parties in the room, and out of it popped out Lonesome Lenny. Not the member of his crew, but the bomb.

**"...Go BOOM!!"**

Avery once again shouted before taking one last drag of his beloved cigar and chucking it at the bomb’s fuse, lighting it, and running away towards the remains of the window. He heard rapid gunshots behind him, hopefully directed towards the explosive, not him. He hopped through the large hole in the window, taking off his top hat while still holding onto it with both his hands. The hats inside got bigger, slowing down Avery's descent, like a parachute. After a few seconds of adjusting to the strong wind, the parasite heard a loud 'BOOM!!' emanating from above, including a few satisfying screams and exclamations of pain.

The bird started taking in his and the gang’s events of the day while looking at the sunset as he floated down. They trashed the Medici Tower, which should put a nice bounty on their heads. They took out a bunch of Lorenzo's goons, even if the man himself wasn't present. Best part is, Avery got to fight the ~~hunkiest~~ \-- Uh, _toughest_ cookie he’s faced in a while. Yeah.

Overall, despite the broken bones and wires, a considerable loss of blood and oil and an unavoidable maintenance check from Doc Whitefin, it was a good day.

Avery sighed, content, and swung his feet in the air before cringing. Oh yeah, he was so caught up in the action, he forgot that every part of his body was in pain. Eurgh, gonna need a lot of painkillers for that. Speaking of, Avery's arms were getting numb from clinging to his hat. Turning his head to the left, he saw construction rails around the tower. Maybe he could take the stairs? He was really tuckered out from the battle, he felt that if he teleported, he'd end up in the air above him, or some strangers apartment. So, the stairs it was.

Avery swung his feet in the direction he wanted to go, doing his best to resist the wind. As he got closer, he noticed something moving on the stairs. Something big, with its clothes ripped, clutching its neck. With a skull on its face.

No way.

"Holy shit, yer still in one piece? Tell it to Sweeney!"

Squawked out Avery in disbelief, albeit with a smile on his face. Yeah, he's disappointed he didn’t splatter into a fountain of blood when he hit the ground, but he’s impressed he’s still even on the tower. "Seriously though, how durable are ya?”

The masked man turned his attention to the raucous voice, not happy to see the owner of it. Ugh, what does this kid want now? He already lost a good part of his dignity and blood in that battle. He was lucky he could glide. He never thought he'd say this, but thank Aeon for Lorenzo and his perfectionism. If not for the reconstruction of the tower from the last attack they had, he'd be in a far worse situation. He managed to catch onto one of the railings, saving himself from a quick, but gruesome death.

He looked away and continued limping down the stairs, to which the child pouted. "Hey, I asked ya a question!" Avery angrily stated as he set himself on the rail. He then hissed, holding onto the fence. "Ooogh, my _spleen_. My _legs_. My _everything_." he whined as he slowly started limping down the stairs behind the giant.

For a while, it was just silence, with the only things heard being footsteps and occasional grunts of pain. The shorter one was feeling kind of awkward. He was currently casually going down the stairs with the guy he just beat up. Maybe he’ll try to make conversation?

“Soooooo, uh, ya part of da Medici?”

The taller one turned his head to look at the boy, the bite on his neck still burning. He nodded and continued walking. That should be pretty obvious. What, did the boy think he just got attacked for no reason?

...Then again, that seems to be happening a lot lately. Fights happening randomly on the streets.

“Oh. Should’a guessed. Ya wouldn’t attack me for no reason, wouldn’tcha? Then again, seems like everyone’s getting into brawls lately.” The child nervously chuckled. Welp, he read his mind. Hopefully literally. That would make communication a lot easier. "Like, recently, there was this medicine shop in New Meridian that was _totally_ busted and during the investigation, the Lieutenant General got inta a fight with some drunk palooka." Vice heard him sigh behind him. "Maaan, wish I was there."

Vice listened, but didn't turn around. Huh. Even the princess' second-in-command was getting into baseless fights. What is going on?

After another moment of quiet, He spoke up again.

“Soooooo... What’s yer name?”

Oh, so now he wants to be friends. Well, might as well entertain him. He probably won’t understand anyway. The man being questioned stopped to look at the child, only now realizing just how small he really is. He barely reached his belt and the little one had to bend his head very far back to even look at the big one’s face. Did he spend the last hour fighting--and losing to--this?

Small things can surprise you, he supposed.

The acrobat raised his hand and spelled the letters of his name with his hands. Avery looked pretty confused, but he seemed to get it. “...Vice?“ A nod. The one asking the question put a hand to his chin. ”Vice, Vice-- I-- I _know_ that name from somewhere...“

So he knew him. That would make things both simple and complicated. Taking what he knows about the boy’s personality thus far, he would be really persistent about the reason why one of the biggest celebreties in Canopy was working for the mafia. But to hell with it. He’d find out sooner or later, right?

Vice pointed in the direction of a very big and bright tent in the distance. "That's... the Cirque Des Cartes, ain't it? Man, it seems so small from up here." Avery mused as he leaned over the fence, having to stand on his tippy-toes to do so. The big man waved his hand in front of the bord to get his attention. He pointed his index finger at the circus and then thrusted a thumb in his chest. It took the boy a few seconds, but his squinting eyes widened and his jaw literally dropped. Vice stepped back, surprised and a bit creeped out. He didn’t do that much damage, did he? Ouch.

Luckily the child caught it and put it back in its place before squawking out **"You're Vice Versa!!"** so loud that it echoed throughout the territory. The screech itself made the giant cringe. Still tense, he nodded. The confusion that was present on Avery's face a second ago turned to sheer excitement.

“Yer Vice Versa from the Cirque Des Cartes!! You're Cerebella's livin’ weapon! The two of ya are like, the biggest stars in _aaaall_ of Canopy! Oh man this is so _cool_!!" He started bouncing around. He stopped a moment after, remembering his several broken ribs. He was still smiling, however.

"Oho, man, and ya work for da Medici? Dude, yer makin me have mixed feelings. ...But, now that we’re here, can ya sign me somethin’?" He asked, fiddling with his slightly cut-up ribbon, shyly looking up at the star, red eyes just barely visible from the brim of his hat. Vice turned his palms upwards, making a sea-saw motion with them and then not-really snapped his fingers at Avery, as if saying ‘Later, dude‘.

“Uh... later? Wait, you leavin’?“ The man shook his head. The boid tilted his head “...Yer... gonna give my your autograph later, then?” His guess was granted with a nod. The boy shrugged and continued descending down the stairs. “Ok, fine by me. But i’m gon’ make sure ya stick to that.“

Vice smiled a little. He gestured at the boy.

“...Huh?“

Vice pointed to himself and then Avery again, making a gesture as if he was suggesting to swap something between the two of them. Avery’s remaining eyes squinted, before suddenly widening. “Oh! Ya want my name too?“ Vice nodded. The boy responded by tipping his hat, doing a little bow while grinning that big, manical, toothy grin that Vice saw right before he lost. Except now, instead of being filled with murderous intent, it was happy, smug, and somehow, even welcoming.

“Name’s Avery. Avery Unit. Don’tcha go forgettin’ it!“

The man nodded and smiled, titling his head, only to strain the wound on his neck. He hissed, once again bringing his palm to cover the gash. Oh yeah, he remembered, this kid just gave him a royal beatdown and he was making friends with him. Vice looked at Avery, who was shifting his feet from side to side. He must’ve been reminded that he just kicked this guy's ass too, because he was avoiding eye contact in order to not make the situation awkward.

It already was though. Vice stopped holding his breath and continued going down. He heard the small pitter-patter of the bird’s boots behind him.

Silence befell on them once again.

“...Soooooo...” Avery once again was the one to initiate conversation. “Why are ya workin’ with the biggest scum on Earth?“

The older boy twitched. He slowed down his steps for a moment, and then resumed walking at a slightly faster pace.

“Wha-- Hey!! C’mon, I wanna know!! Everybody has their reasons, right? I wanna know if yer’s are good enough! Then i’ll know if I have to kill ya on the spot or not da next time we meet.“

Vice Versa turned his head for a moment to give the squawking jerk an unamused look. Hopefully the message was sent, even through his mask. However, the kid just growled. “Oh, don’t give me that look. Yer family’s the reason my boss was...“ He stopped talking and lowered the brim of his hat to hide his face. “Nevermind.“ He finished lamely.

Vice grew concerned for a moment, and stopped to look at the boy, waiting for him to continue. However, Avery retorted with “I said ‘nevermind’!!“. Vice Versa winced, taking the hint, and continued walking.

That awkward silence again.

After a good several minutes later, when they were finally close to the ground, Avery spoke up.

“I meant it, y’know.“

Vice stopped for a second as the bird boy continued walking down the stairs, stopping a few steps in front of him. He noted the absence of the drawn out "So"s that he kept using at the start of his sentences.

“If you don’t have a good reason for working with those scumbags, the next time we meet...”

He turned his head slightly to look at the man behind him, his tailfeathers eyes following suit. All three eyes visible to Vice--one on his face and the other two on his tail, though the third eye in the middle seemed to feebly try to glare at the performer as well--at that moment had black sclera.

_“I’ll kill you where you stand.“_

Vice's body tensed at that. How can something so small give off such an overwhelming sense of dread? He looked down for a moment, and then nodded decisively. Yes, there was an important reason that he was living under the same roof as those monsters.

“...What is it?“

Vice put both of his hands up, putting his index fingers and thumbs together on each hand, and then put them to his chest.

Family.

He was doing it for Bella. For her safety and happiness. No matter how much he wants to leave those horrible people, Cerebella has friends there, and most of these friends care about her too. She has someone to live for there, she gets to have a roof over her head, warmth and good food. It’s much better than aimlessly wandering the streets. Even if it meant getting blood on his hands, Vice would make sure Bella would continue to live the life she deserves.

“Uh.“

The sound brought Vice back to the current situation. The child had a puzzled look on it’s face.

“I’m not really sure, so correct me if i’m wrong, but, that’s sign language, right? Ya can’t speak?“ Vice nodded, nervously twiddling his fingers. “Sorry, dude, i can’t understand that stuff. Though, judging by the fact that you zoned out there, i’m guessing it has somethin’ to do with...“ He put a finger to his chin.

“...Actually, nevermind. I have no idea.“

Vice face-palmed. So much for that.

“Well, since i can’t understand ya now, guess you’ll have to explain to me next time i run into ya. In case ya couldn’t tell, I am in serious need of repairs, and I ain’t gettin’ any better by talkin’ and movin’ around so much.“ As he finished that sentence, a spark flew out of the side of Avery’s head. The older man, disturbed, continued walking. This time, faster. The boid followed suit.

After finally reaching the ground, they arrived in a big, rather deserted--save for the lots of cars--parking lot. Avery kneeled and started spouting something about praising the Trinity and kissed the asphalt ground, before spitting out the dirt and getting back up.

When he turned to look at his former opponent, he noticed he was shaking his head and started heading towards the entrance to the tower. Before the bird could follow him, however, he heard loud honking sounds from the parking lot. He then saw a familiar car and a familiar pack of cartoony characters. He waved a hand in their direction.

“Hey, twerp! There ya are! What took ya!? We’ve been waitin’ for like, ever!” Yelled Andy as he parked the car near the sidewalk, leaning on the car door. Avery noticed the disheveled state the anvil was in. He had a black eye, he was missing a tooth, there were more than a couple bruises present on his body and his pompadour was a complete mess. “I beat a sorry chump into the ground and i had to dramatically walk away, bein’ a total badass, ya get me?“ And for once, that was actually true.

Andy, however, only started slowly nodding his head, talking with a voice just dripping sarcasm. “Yeahhhh, whatever you did while you were goofing around on the higher floors, it _really_ helped us get out of the tower when the reinforcements came in and we were almost blown up. Thanks _so_ much, _bro_.” Andy, of course, didn’t believe him. He hardly ever does. Understandably so. But he’ll reminisce after he gets his repairs, thank you very much.

“Hey! I took out the whole two levels you were plannin’ to bomb! N' don’t even _think_ that I was off goofing around somewhere! Does _THIS_ ” He turned a little so Andy could see his ripped tailfeather, “look like ‘goofing around’!?“

...Well... okay, so maybe he was goofing around by not following rules, but it was in boss’ favor! It counts!

Andy shuddered at the sight, turning away and cringing. “Ulrgh! Okay, okay, sheesh! Ya don’t have ta flaunt it!“ After Avery huffed and turned to the anvils direction, he was looked over by his fellow gang member with an expression consisting of both surprise and disbelief present on his face. “Woah, dude, you look like _hell_.” He breathed out. “Thanks, i just got back.“ Said Avery, full of pride as always.

The kid examined the rest of the passangers. Tommy was next to Andy, with a black eye similar to his partner, examining his torn-up hat. Well, the boid was glad to know he wasn’t going to be the only one asking Ilemom for some tailoring magic. Argus, Lenny and George were at the back. The bomb brothers looked exhausted, to put it shortly, ready to fall asleep at any moment. Argus looked completly unscathed. She was sitting with her hands in her lap and seemed to be deep in thought, like she is every other damn day. Peacock was sitting in the back as well, smoking a cigar, with her cape and ribbon barely hanging on to her dress. She had cuts and bruises here and there, but otherwise, she seemed fine, and most of all, content. She noticed her right-hand bird staring and waved.

“Hey, Aves,“ His boss chimed, with her usual cheery tone. “If yer done mopin’ around, ya wanna maybe get in the wagon and go home? It looks like you’ll need a lot more preening than these guys. ‘Sides, the new Annie episode starts soon!“ Avery nodded happily and started climbing on, when Andy suddenly cut in (Heh). “ ‘Ey, what are _you_ lookin’ at?”

Turning around, The knife wielder found the performer he fought still there, by the wall, staring at the scene before him. As soon as he was caught eavesdropping, however, Vice quickly made haste to the tower entrance before things got more awkward. The bird hummed, grinned and then hopped on, leaning down to the driver’s ear. “Stop by him for a sec, would ya?“ The shirtless man was confused, but oblidged, and drove to where the masked boy was still limping.

“Hey, i’d offer ya a ride home, but i guess you’re just gonna go back in there?“

No response, only a stare.

“Well, remember, ya still owe me an explanation, and an autograph!“ He made a double pistol gesture with his hands and winked at the older man, who seemed slightly taken aback. “See ya next time!“ And Andy took that as a cue to leave, as Vice still stood there.

That was... interesting. He guessed he should remember to avoid any rose-colored lasers that were heading his way in the future.

And to avoid any pies offered to him by small, sharp-teethed children.

And to have a pen with him the next time he goes out to town.

\----------------------

“Hey, who was that guy, anyway, Peeps?“ Peacock asked on their ride home, as they both were leaning against Lenny’s huge body.

“A guy who don’t deserve a minute of yer time, boss.“ He answered. If that loser couldn’t get through him, then there’s no way he could get through his even stronger and more dazzling host.

“Buuuut, he deserves to take up _your_ time?“ She grinned slyly.

“What?“

“A ride home, an ‘explanation’ and an autograph? What, are ya starting to carry another torch? You goin’ through a sugar daddy phase, Aves?“

“Whu- What!? No! _No!!_ He’s famous! When you meet someone famous, you gotta get their autograph, right!? And i wasn’t actually going ta give ‘im a ride home! Just... rub my victory in his face some more! An’... An’ the explanation thing...! ...That’s... personal.“ The boid looked away at the end of his sentence.

The whole monologue seemed to fall on deaf ears, however, because the purple-clad girl announced; “Hey, guys! Our Avery’s got a sugar daddy!“

_“BOSS!!“_

“Woah, seriously!?” Andy shouted, giving the children in the back a grin so wide it almost stretched across his entire face. “Yo, Aves, how old is he? How long ‘till he kicks the bucket and we’re rich!?“

“Eyes on the road.“ Tommy sternly stated, grabbing Andy by the chin and turning his head back to the direction he was previously facing.

“Eh, he looked pretty young, so it seems we’ll just have ‘ta do it ourselves.“ Peacock mused and a groan of dissapointment was heard from the driver. The girl once again turned to her crony and booped his nose. “Ya gotta pick ‘em more wisely, Tweety. We ain’t a patient bunch, y’know! And ‘sides, the wine’s best when it’s old as balls!“

**“I DON’T HAVE A ‘SUGAR DADDY’!!“**

Avery yelled so loud, he was sure that the whole road, no, the whole _city_ heard him. He quickly hid his face in his hat, as laughs erupted from the wagon, not helping his embrarrassment at all.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Okay, so maybe Avery _did_ end up using Vice for money from time to time, but having a crony that couldn’t talk back to you and was also semi-rich so he pays for your ice cream and snacks was cool as heck.

Besides, he didn’t want him to die. The complete opposite, in fact. He liked being around him, and spending time with him. Not that he’d ever tell anyone that. But he had a feeling that Vice unfortunately already knew that and Avery isn't sure if it makes him feel better or worse.

But he makes sure to make Vice feel embarrassed when he embarrasses Avery.

“Hey, minion.“ He said, without tearing his eyes away from the television, laying against the giant’s chest.

Said giant shifted his attention away from the black-haired man across the couch that fell asleep about fifteen minutes into the movie, slobbering all over the armrest, and instead focused on the little bird he was carefully laying his head on.

“Remember the time when we first met and i tore some of yer skin off and ya threw up? Right there, in the elevator?“

Vice only groaned and completly turned his attention away from his guests, finding the movie more tolerable.

“Heh heh, good times.“ The bord chuckled as he resumed stuffing his face with popcorn.

His top hat was sitting by the sofa, an autograph barely visible on the inside of it.

**Author's Note:**

> ("Skulldudes" is a spin-off of the game 'Skullgirls' and a fan-created series. Neither I or the creators of Skulldudes have any affiliation with Lab Zero Games, Autumn Games, or any of the creative team involved in creating Skullgirls.)  
> (Please read the ongoing comic! http://projectskulldudes.tumblr.com/)  
> (Also, check out this cool thing one of the artists for the comic drew for this fic! http://skulldudes.tumblr.com/post/142264358254/raid-on-the-tower)


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